You may need to sit down for this; you’ve been pronouncing Mors Syphilitica incorrectly this whole time.
Do Not Disturb
Well, you’re disturbing me! There is only one way to sleep; lying in a bed.
You can not, should not in a mask and,
you can not, should not in a casket.
You cannot go sleep with a rat!
You should not go sleep with a bat!
Not upside-down, not in a gown, not in a grave, not in a cave.
Poor Unfortunate Souls
Photography, hair and makeup by: Taryn Scalise
Model, headpiece and corset alterations: Nia Scott
If while every other lady is jumping on the Princess fad, you start the Villainess look…
If there’s a Goth lost in your garden just leave a trail of chocolates and cloves to lead them out.
Spray doorways, corridors, nearby abandoned buildings with self-taner. If self-tanner is unavailable, coloring with with pastel chalk.
DITCH THE DEATHROCK!
To get the above fun, hip styles, start listening to:
- Achy Break Mullet: 80s country
- Holla Back Bob ultra high, blond, highlighted inverted bob: QUICK WHAT DO KIDS LIKE ATM?! I LOOK FUN AND NOT HOMICIDAL, RIGHT GUYS!
- It’s Tearing Up My Tips frosted loose spikes: late 90s boybands
- FUNdamentalist PURRm: The screaming of innocents.
Hey, debbie doubters, LOOK AT THIS!
You’re welcome, and I would like 1,000 more of these from all of you on my desk by Friday.
Robert Leroy Johnson (May 8, 1911 – August 16, 1938) was an American blues singer and musician. His landmark recordings from 1936–37 display a combination of singing, guitar skills, and songwriting talent that has influenced later generations of musicians. Johnson’s shadowy, poorly documented life and death at age 27 have given rise to much legend, including the Faustian myth that he sold his soul at a crossroads to achieve success. As an itinerant performer who played mostly on street corners, in juke joints, and at Saturday night dances, Johnson had little commercial success or public recognition in his lifetime.
Johnson’s records sold poorly during his lifetime. It was only after the reissue of his recordings in 1961 on the LP King of the Delta Blues Singers that his work reached a wider audience. Johnson is now recognized as a master of the blues, particularly of the Mississippi Delta blues style. He is credited by many rock musicians as an important influence; Eric Clapton has called Johnson “the most important blues singer that ever lived.”
If you traced your favorite band’s influences back all the way back to a crossroads in Mississippi where a deal was made between Robert Johnson and a mysterious stranger…
Peter looks like he’s about to sell his band off for meth in this picture. He’s got the whole casual around the shoulder ‘Well I don’t have money to give you but if you’re into having a good time…’ vibe happening.
Do you have odds to put on a match?
Or, do you have roster filled out? How do you see it playing out?
(Any bets will be reviewed, and likely stolen from.)
ROUND 2: Siouxsie VS Nick
What an intense match between a transient homeless man who sells black market pornography out of the trunk of his Camino, and legendary Goth Goddess- wait, that was Nick Cave?*- let me begin again.
What a surprising match we just saw between Post Punk scary man Nick Cave, and legendary Goth Goddess Siouxsie Sioux, dramatic before it even began!
The crowd went wild when Sioux came out beautifully adorned in various poisonous insects. As if he had somehow anticipated this outrageous move, once the two were in the ring, Cave immediately released the bats which annihilated Sioux’s bug defense.
Sioux clutched a single, broken, butterfly repeating, “What have you done to her?!” while Cave, carried away waving to all those beautiful people in the audience turned his back on his opponent and began yelling, “I am the king! I am the king!”
Meanwhile, the furious Sioux climbed to the rafters to jump from 17 floors and crashed into Nick Cave! Writhing, intertwined, Cave eventually broke free of her and hit Sioux on the head with a rock in his fist. He then pulled out a rose with his swollen hand, but as he knelt down to complete his pièce de résistance, SHE GETS UP FROM ALL FOURS!
Blood pouring down his gaping mouth she punched him, well, down where this ugly man seeks his sustenance. Cave somehow stumbled out of the ring as Sioux tried to regain her strength. Once out of the spotlight, he tried to pass for member of a birthday party watching the fight from high in the stands.
With time running out, Sioux found him hiding, she found him lying. She then grabbed him by the legs and threw him down the stairs!
Just when we assumed the tenacious Sioux had won this round, screams came from the announcer’s booth, “He’s crawling up my stairs, he’s coming to my room!” With a swollen eye and broken arm he pulled out the Colt 45 with great difficulty out his coat pocket, spilling his deck of cards.
As he struggled to get in position and take aim, Sioux, perhaps out of desperation, decided to say a spell. Tearing a microphone out of the hands of resigned onlooker, and upcoming fighter, Robert Smith she worked her Juju and left Cave spellbound.
Proclaiming, “Dust to rust, ashes to gashes” the victorious Sioux dropped the mic and left the arena to thunderous applause. Cave was wheeled out by attending medics repeating “rats in paradise” while foaming at the mouth. We still have not confirmed with Cave’s management whether this behaviour was indicative of a brain injury or just the way he chose to exit.
Stay tuned for ROUND 3: Robert VS Johnny
Previously: ROUND 1: Peter VS Rozz
Happy Birthday to Peter Murphy, who is 855 years undead today.
HE’S FROM MEDIEVAL TIMES?! Well that explains his driving skills…
Ohhhh, I didn’t say it… but I have to reblog it.