When did Andrew do a Dos Equis commercial
When he went looking for the Holy Grail in Petra so he could stay young drinking vodka and cranberry juice from it
Lestat de Lioncourt
I hate your sparkly vampires because:
the ones I grew up with had sass for centuries
Sometimes I like to imagine that Peter used to walk around with a piece of cardboard saying “bauhaus” stapled to his clothing.
a good idea
His name and Daniel’s cell phone number are also pinned to his collar.
I’ll probably regret saying this once I get back off the hearse (probably after the post-Halloween sales) but, you should let some Goths adopt your son.
Not really adopt- like, you can still raise him and he can live with you- but (cue Sarah McLaughlin music)…
Thousands of babybats wonder alone in suburbs, rural areas, and even some inner-cities areas every year with no one to guide them but the troll-infested internet, where they mostly get “advice” in the form of criticism from teenage poseurs.
Many of these babybats will never find a mentor or cool group of friends and may end up an emo, a hipster, a cult member, an Amish, or even a juggalo.
If you have the knowledge and patience, won’t you please adopt a babybat today? You don’t have to know very much, and the relationship will be one of the most rewarding and meaningful you’ll ever have.
Watching your little friend grow into a self-assured, happy, singular person and knowing you helped them get there is the kind of experience that would make Emily Dickinson tap dance to the nearest box social!
Ok, yeah, but just so you know- those flowers aren’t for you, or any other human.
(A cat will probably end up eating them.)
See? Black is the gateway color.
Don’t do drugs, kids.
Although it’s common for goths to perform aggression displays when confronted by humans, Simon is actually harmless. Luring The Cure out of this corridor is an act of kindness which is ultimately beneficial to all.
Vampira at the beach, 1954
The best way to fight harmful UV rays is actually sunscreen.
Thierry Mugler Haute Couture Fall/Winter 1997: The Chimera Gown
His masterpiece *praying emoji*
The dangerous combination of feminism and the Gothic lifestyle may result in becoming a bro-eating Gorgon.
This is Siouxsie in her true form.
Okay, I know this time of year is really hard for you guys- Halloween and Autumn stuff is just hitting shelves in stores everywhere- but you have to stay strong or you’ll have a full relapse by November when all that shit goes on sale to make way for Xmas.
Here’s a tip to reduce you stress level:
That alt 80s dance song you like, but you can’t quite figure out who performs it- it’s New Order.