That's incredible! I'm super shy, so maybe I should get a pair of aviators.
Apparently it’s helped a lot of famous people with some form of social anxiety like Roy Orbison, Mitch Hedberg, Janis Joplin, and Kurt Cobain used sunglasses on stage for the same reason.
Sometimes people wear sunglasses on stage because they’re hopped off on goofballs. Sometimes it’s a bit of column A and a bit of column B.
Oh nonono, stay away from the Grateful Dead if you want to fully recover! They're deceptive- Black Peter is practically a victorian novel death scene. My stepmother seemed cured after a life of hippie living, but it turns out she was never really treated! I looked through her CDs and found several Cruxshadows albums, alongside her entire Anne Rice collection. I recommend the Aquabats. Maybe ska-punk in spirit, but the front man created Yo Gabba Gabba. Nothing's more ungoth than Yo Gabba Gabba.
Sometimes the path to recovery is strewn with landmines… you just can’t be too careful.
Ah, criminey, 90s Trent Reznor on the hall closet ceiling. They come in during the winter, you know.
Welp, best get my Goth-chasing-broom.
Lestat de Lioncourt
I hate your sparkly vampires because:
the ones I grew up with had sass for centuries
Sometimes I like to imagine that Peter used to walk around with a piece of cardboard saying “bauhaus” stapled to his clothing.
a good idea
His name and Daniel’s cell phone number are also pinned to his collar.
Please help my son. I'm afraid he's just gotten worse. I tried removing all the hairspray and eyeliner from the house, but he's taken to using magic markers and cooking spray. He teases his hair with forks. I'm deeply concerned for him and my flatware. What should I do?
I’ll probably regret saying this once I get back off the hearse (probably after the post-Halloween sales) but, you should let some Goths adopt your son.
Not really adopt- like, you can still raise him and he can live with you- but (cue Sarah McLaughlin music)…
Thousands of babybats wonder alone in suburbs, rural areas, and even some inner-cities areas every year with no one to guide them but the troll-infested internet, where they mostly get “advice” in the form of criticism from teenage poseurs.
Many of these babybats will never find a mentor or cool group of friends and may end up an emo, a hipster, a cult member, an Amish, or even a juggalo.
If you have the knowledge and patience, won’t you please adopt a babybat today? You don’t have to know very much, and the relationship will be one of the most rewarding and meaningful you’ll ever have.
Watching your little friend grow into a self-assured, happy, singular person and knowing you helped them get there is the kind of experience that would make Emily Dickinson tap dance to the nearest box social!
Ok, yeah, but just so you know- those flowers aren’t for you, or any other human.
(A cat will probably end up eating them.)