Warning: Possible Goth Triggers
I've had the strong urge lately to read Romantic poetry in a graveyard lately under a strong tree in the shade with a picnic basket nearby. Could I be coming down with goth flu?
Anonymous

Yes.

I don’t think you have to be quarantined but I recommend:

  • chicken noodle soup
  • sprite or tea
  • resting on the couch watching reality television
  • listening to ska, apparently
  • getting a healthy dose of Fox News
  • NO READING - ESPECIALLY POETRY
Is listening to ska a step forward in recovery? On one hand, what could be less goth than bright, peppy horns, but on the other, I'm trading one genre of music that no one's cared about for approximately 20 years for another.
Anonymous

It’s a big step forward! I’ve never seen a Goth dance to ska but, if my math is correct, it would shake the black off of their clothes.

I did chase some Goths down with Ska music, back in my more active days. They hid in corridors which fall away at the happy horn hootenanny like the walls of Jericho.

I once had this dream where I was part of a vampire clan and for some reason our preferred method of travel was a minivan, so I called it the 'vanpire' and I'm still proud for coming up with that in my sleep.

You almost ruined vans for me.

Here's some good news! My local clothes shops seem to have moved away from that horrible gawfic trend and are now stocking only pastels! Even better, it seems to be a world wide trend! Rejoice!

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Say it again.

Louder.

That’s beautiful.

I just received my Amazon order of "Assimilate: A Critical History of Industrial Music" and "The Dark Reign of Gothic Rock: In The Reptile House with The Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus and The Cure." Is there hope for me, or should I just be quarantined?

I don’t know how many times I have tried to warn you people about reading! 

Wait, except for my blog- keep reading that.

I’m sorry, it’s quarantine time. The van will be arriving shortly, if you want to do us the courtesy of sedating yourself.

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Dear gothtriggers I am considering dropping $80+ on flowy romantic goth clothing. Help?
Anonymous

I have just the thing!

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What? Flowers are romantic!

Curse this summer heat. It makes make up harder to pull off. I mean perfectly blended deathly palor and eyeshadow can become unfortunate corpsepaint really quickly. When you intend to go forth as an ethereal creature of the darkness but end up looking like a BAAAAAAD mallgoth/black metal fan in the process. I love autumn and winter. So much easier to dress spooky.

Thank you, global warming.

Whenever I go shopping for color I come back with all black! Help I'm addicted to the dark o.o
Anonymous

Try dressing yourself in normal clothes in a dark room, and then avoid mirrors.

You know… like a vampire!

I lost one of my black blouses and turns out it had been on the floor for days but it had fused with my black bedsheets so I never saw it. Help.
Anonymous

Here’s a useful chart for picking clothing by color:

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Whenever I walk into a fabric store and see veleur, velvet and lace I have the strongest urge to measure out material and plot a future cravat's existence. And sometimes, when I'm thrifting I get a horrendous sense of joy whenever I find a velvet coat of a dark colour.

Me too!

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I’m just throwing this out there, WAIT, WAIT A DAMN SECOND I’M TALKING TO YOU; velour jumpsuits with floral designs are super comfy, super cheap, available at your favourite thrifts stores, and just begging for a matching ascot.

Where’re you going?

Ok, wait YOU CAN HAVE ONE WITH CATS ON IT!

Tonight I took my love out for a moonlight stroll in the garden. Upon finding a nice spot lit only by moonlight I recited poetry to him in proclamation of my love, and shortly thereafter a black cat walked up to the both of us. We proceeded to pet the strange black cat neither of us had ever seen before until it ran off. I can't win you see, the creatures of the night follow me!
Anonymous

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Source.

Oh, this is the superb cover another anon recommended. 

Yes, including the ability to speak French and a French sense of humor. 

I'm in year 11 and we're studying Gothic literature until the end of October in my extension English class. I thought I was on the way to recovery, but I found myself listening to Bauhaus while I was writing a ghost story we were asked to do for homework. I have to read 50 pages of The Castle of Otranto before next lesson. Is there any hope for me?

It’s already spread to your tumblr; Rimbaud is inside your avatar!

Say his name backwards in the screen 3 times in a dark room to get him out… Or that might make him stab your hand… Either way you’ll start to snap out of it!