I don’t think you’re really my friend then.
Do you know how many words are wrong with that sentence?
Get some crocs, uggs, or if you’re really in the Summer mood, some fun flip flops down at the Riteaid’s instead.
DITCH THE DEATHROCK!
To get the above fun, hip styles, start listening to:
- Achy Break Mullet: 80s country
- Holla Back Bob ultra high, blond, highlighted inverted bob: QUICK WHAT DO KIDS LIKE ATM?! I LOOK FUN AND NOT HOMICIDAL, RIGHT GUYS!
- It’s Tearing Up My Tips frosted loose spikes: late 90s boybands
- FUNdamentalist PURRm: The screaming of innocents.
Do you have odds to put on a match?
Or, do you have roster filled out? How do you see it playing out?
(Any bets will be reviewed, and likely stolen from.)
ROUND 1: Peter VS Rozz
Gothic Rock founding father and clothing-adverse baritone, Peter Murphy of Bauhaus dominated Death Rock deity Rozz Williams, who’s ultimately defeated game plan was as complex and challenging as his poetry.
After initiating an avant garde off, which Murphy found irresistible, Williams lured Murphy into an existential panic! But just when Williams thought his plan had worked perfectly; Murphy jumped back into the fight like a rabid animal!
Feeding off the dark chaos Williams had unwittingly released within him, Murphy went mad contorting, laughing manically, and popping out of dark shadows with heavy under-lighting. This all made Rozz very tired and when he laid in bed of lilacs and sheets in his corner, Murphy delivered two surprise kicks!
The first landed on Williams chest, only to hurt Murphy’s foot, as Williams was wearing his bullet-proof vest. The next kick, however, was in the eye. (Murphy later claimed, “It was a slip” with a banshee smile, but Willaims claims “It was deliberately! It was deliberately!”)
Either way, the assault gave Murphy time to detonate a multiple flash with no chords attached, from which his heliophobic opponent fled the ring.
It was a great fight! Stay tuned forROUND 2: Siouxsie VS Nick
I am not sure how to feel about that…
I’ll get back to you when I have a fully formed prejudice handy.