Gothic Battle Royale: Semi-Finals Round 1
The crowd is really on edge today as we await the entrance of tonight’s Semi-finalists, the King and Queen of Goth; Peter Murphy and Siouxsie Sioux!
The lights are dimming now. A hush falls over the anxious crowd. And here comes Siouxsie looking just spectacular in a lush evening gown! She’s being carried in on an elaborately ordained litter by men who look suspiciously like her former bandmates and lovers. She’s now entering the ring; oh! and she rips off the evening gown to reveal a punk-inspired dominatrix outfit, looking very much like Catwoman with her whip!
The crowd just loves it; what an entrance!
But wait, Dark Entries has started playing! The spotlights are illuminating Murphy’s gate- OH MY BOWIE, SOMEONE CRASHED THEIR CAR INTO THE ANNOUNCER’S BOOTH!
Peter looks like he’s about to sell his band off for meth in this picture. He’s got the whole casual around the shoulder ‘Well I don’t have money to give you but if you’re into having a good time…’ vibe happening.
Bauhaus proving once and for all that they are not Joy Division.
I, uh, I’ll see myself out.
That’s New KIds on the Block, and that is a Bauhaus T shirt.
Canadian humanoid aberration Nardwuar, pointed this out to Peter Murphy, and now you can’t unknow it either.
Goth people problems; fighting over the blood of virgins
Bauhaus - ‘Nerves’
Try listening without saying it.
You know what ‘it’ is. You said it in your head as soon as you saw the title.
Oh you fancy dressed motherfuckers stop drinkin’ red wine
I can’t stop laughing
So Peter’s dressed like a nineteenth century gent and Danny’s dressed like a yeti from space and somehow they’re in the same band. Whut?
They’ve come to tell you your boots look like shit.
It’s called shoe polish, motherfucker. Here; try some.
Did I ever tell you about the time I met Peter Murphy, David J and Kevin Haskins? About how I was sitting in the back of a van with a quartet of knitted dollies? No? Well, sit back internet and let pixie tell you a long and surreal story.
Back in the mid-2000’s I was a regular on the…
Lesson learned this week: Goths can’t be trusted with dolls.
"Maybe we should should work on this AIDS epidemic they’re talking about here on page 13!"
"Maybe we should write some batshit-crazy-art-songs-to-fuck-and-exercise demons with."
"Right, what you think, mates?"
"Yeah, yeah, the one with fucking; lets do that then."
Goth people problem: Being the Peter Criss of Bauhaus.